The latest budgetary shenanigans down at Calgary City Hall are reminiscent of Westminster Bridge in the very heart of London.

Now anyone who’s ever tried crossing the Thames on that particular bridge knows only too well what a challenge it can be — the route clogged with gawping tourists from every part of the planet, stood stationary taking endless selfies featuring a backdrop of either the Houses of Parliament or the London Eye.

If that wasn’t enough, there are the inevitable buckshee gambling games going on — at least when the coppers aren’t around — adding to the confusion and congestion.

These games, usually run by tough-looking guys from some part of Eastern Europe, are as old as the hills, where dupes are asked to pick which of three containers a token or coin is under, following a vigorous shuffling of the trio. It looks simple enough and the gullible are encouraged to wager big-time because the fellow who just did so merrily walked away with a tenner, after guessing correctly.

Of course, what the naïve don’t understand is this apparent winner is part of the scam, a buddy with the fellow who is now, once again, furiously shuffling the containers: a highly effective lure for both the greedy and the innocent. It’s called a shell game and at that point, we’ll leave old London Town behind and return to the city of Calgary.

Shell games come in many forms, of course. The one our city council is about to engage in is called “bring in the consultant” and it’s a classic ruse beloved by governments everywhere.

Now the reason for this latest clarion call for outside financial advice is the mess the 2020 civic budget has become.

Council has voted to hike residential taxes by 7.51 per cent next year as they grapple with the declining take from those once-lucrative downtown office tower inhabitants. (The blow to homeowners in 2020 will be softened by subsidizing this nasty hike from the city’s rapidly diminishing rainy-day fund.)

But the financial piper will have to be paid sooner or later, so council is bringing in a consultant to find cost-cutting opportunities for 2021.

Now the first thing most Calgarians will likely think on hearing this news is: ‘Shouldn’t the head honchos at the city know their own budgets better than some outsider?’

Yep, that’s more than a fair point. It seems to me if someone running transit or waste management, for example, can’t find a few percentage points in cost reductions among their multimillion-dollar annual spending plans, then the first place any consultant should look for savings is at the department head level, if not the salary of the city manager himself.

But that’s the problem with this consultant lark — the shell game bit, if you like.

Imagine for a moment that this consultant looked at the city budget and, after a month of hearty examination, reported there’s plenty of low-hanging fruit to be picked, maybe starting with the fat salaries paid to the 14 councillors.

Oh boy. Do you seriously think that the consultancy firm hired to do this audit would ever see another lucrative government contract again? Of course not. They know the game.

You take a long time, come up with a nebulous and wordy report with no specific cost-cutting examples, then collect your copious fee on the way out the door. Wink wink: now we’re ready for more government business.

And what does the city get for the cash? Well, a smokescreen for a start. Hey, we brought in an independent outsider and this was the result. Also, if anything actually does go wrong they can always blame the consultant, though keeping the status quo is unlikely to upset the gravy train.

How much does this end up costing taxpayers? Well, up in Edmonton they just found out — $616-million was paid to consultants hired by their council between 2013 and 2017.

Those heavy-set lads on Westminster Bridge are in the wrong shell game.